Wednesday, December 9
Monday, December 7
Small Sacred Moment
I've mentioned before that Christmas tree decorating is never as blissful as I think it should be. This year ours seemed stressful even in the planning, because we decided to do it on a weeknight (last Monday), which of course got pushed to Tuesday because of an unexpected Book Club conflict. Add two parts kids -- one who wants to hang all the ornaments right now right now, and the other who wants to just take them all down -- and it's even messier. I did my part by giving DH The Look, after he griped at AJ to not put all the ornaments on the same branch. I didn't like him adding "Grumpy Daddy" feelings to my tree-trimming. Because I am so perfect, myself, (ahem). (Sorry, DH.) It didn't devolve too badly, and we actually got the ornaments hung in under an hour.
But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.
It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.
But the perfect moment occurred afterwards, during hot chocolate and cookie-time. Since we were all seated at the table, KT assumed it meant we were about to say the blessing like we do at dinner. "Bess-eeen!" she announced. AJ laughed, and I said, "Well, I guess it would be nice to ask God to bless our Christmas..." I didn't expect us to do it, but AJ quickly put his hands together with a "God, please bless our Christmas," and another giggle.
It seemed small and silly to him, but I found a spot of joy in that request. Yes, please bless our Christmas.
Cookies!
Sugar cookies (pre-made dough), "frosted" with peanut butter or Nutella, and decorated with white choc chips, mini choc chips, pretzels and M&Ms. Kid friendly (if a mess), Mother
Tuesday, December 1
Thanksgiving 2009 - Report
It feels too late to post a Thanksgiving report, actually, since Christmas and all its materialism and crazy-making has already begun FULL TILT. I am headed to WalMart today, in fact, desperate to shop and not be "behind." (Ridiculous!) But I have to follow-up. Can't have a prelude without a post-, you understand.
Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.
Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.
Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.
I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.
Just two other small updates:
-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)
-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!
Our Thanksgiving was lovely. Really nice. We spent the day snacking on a BLT cheeseball (divine) that was placed on a plate by me but planned, created and executed fully by my MIL, who is wonderful. I just have to say that. She really is a hero. We left the sliding glass door open to the back patio most of the day -- football was on, the kids were in and out playing and enjoying the freedom of that open door, splashing in a small fountain on the porch. To me, that was idyllic. Aside... Something different about our childhoods and our kids' -- I feel like we were allowed to "do our own thing" much more than our kids are. I remember exploring the porches and yards of several grandmothers/great aunts, just us kids, during holiday gatherings. So I was thrilled that we didn't hover (too much) while the kids splashed, giggled and got their Thanksgiving outfits all wet.
Neither kid ate one bite of Thanksgiving dinner. Too full from pretzels and juice all day, I suppose. I didn't much care and let them get down from the table early. Like, almost directly after "God is good, God is great." Next year, no dice. They're going to have to learn manners one of these days.
Our dinner was Yum. I ate a lot. Two things -- no wine or drinky was ever opened/offered, not that I needed it, but it makes everything more festive IMHO. Also, no dish was especially rich or decadent with butter/sugar/garlic or whatever. I missed that aspect. But all good, classic, delicious food (and sweet tea, mmmm!) for which I was, and am, very grateful.
I had a bit of a spiritual revelation while I was there, so if you're not into spiritual revelations, here's the paragraph that you may skip -- see you down the page. I was making my way through the weekend-with-the-in-laws, not feeling bad or put-upon or annoyed, just very NORMAL but slightly WORN from being there. You know how it is. You love your family, but you don't need to be around them 24/7, am I right? The thought occured to me (in the shower, naturally) that I shouldn't be concentrating so much on how I was going to endure the weekend/family members, but instead how I should be bringing Love/Jesus to them. Actually, I thought about Jennifer from Conversion Diary, and just knew that's something she would challenge herself with. (See how blogs are doing good in this world?) But a nice little wake-up call. I tried after that, in the smallest of ways (hugs, smiles, kindness), to be more Jesus-bringing and less "me, me, this is all about me." I wish I had time to write it more eloquently. There are things that will annoy you, when you're with relatives. It is not worth being annoyed. It IS worth showing the people you're with that God exists and love is apparent. Anyway, it's something I hope I can take with me and work on more often, with more people in my life.
Just two other small updates:
-- AJ is finally able to tie his shoes, using the "rabbit ears" method. I have never liked that one, because the resulting knot isn't as strong. But I realized it makes more sense to a kid because it's the same action as the first part -- cross the two sides and loop one under. DUH. I am anxious for him to gain confidence. His teachers refuse to tie anyone's shoes after December. (<--LOVE THEM.)
-- KT is playing like a little girl. I see her feeding her Little People bites of whatever she's eating, patting her doll's back to go night-night, "talking" them, and -- the most fun -- playing with Mommy's lipstick. She puts hers on (I don't really let her, it's twisted down into the tube) and then offers, "Mommy want some?" while putting it on me. What fun!
Tuesday, November 24
Thanksgiving 2009 - Preview
I have to admit, I'm feeling a little left out of all the Thanksgiving stress. We're going to my in-laws' in Savannah, meaning road trip, meaning I'm not even required to bring a dish, meaning I am totally sidestepping a lot of what makes the holiday, for women. Granted, it's the hard part, but still. I don't like to miss out, especially on stressy things. (They give me a reason to blog.)
I was at Publix Sunday to just grab a few items to get us through the week before we leave town (how that turned into $85, I don't know), and I walked by the filled-to-capacity frozen turkey bin. There were couples milling about, chatting about how many pounds they need, young moms calculating how long will it take to thaw the bird... it seemed like a pretty major event right there in the poultry aisle, and I just skipped right through to the cereals.
Sort-of a bummer.
I've hosted Thanksgiving at my house exactly once, I think, when AJ was 5 months old. We held his baptism that same weekend. I'm pretty sure I was stressed about the dinner; I may have even had an emotional outburst but I don't remember (no need to chime in and remind me if I did, family). But I LOVED getting out my pretty wedding china, finding a new set of placemats and napkins, and getting to make my Grandmother's famous dressing. When we go to my in-laws' I always think I want to bring some of that dressing -- maybe make it a week ahead, freeze it, and transport it down in a cooler -- but I've not done that yet. I don't really think far enough ahead.
The set-up of my in-laws' house makes it difficult to do what I consider the important part of the holiday -- socialize and work together. Houses that are good for those things have a "flow" through the kitchen. MIL's kitchen, through no fault of her own, has one way in/out. The kitchen's like a dead-end. You can't just easily mill about, chatting and drinking wine, you know? You also can't hang out on one end of the counter and help with cutting or peeling -- or at least I can't, because the kids tend to velcro onto my pants and the kitchen is also rather small. Someone is bound to get stepped on. Oh, I don't know. I really want to make it a happy holiday, and to be the helpful daughter-in-law, and to have all of that social, warm, working-together feeling. In the past, I have felt like we spend the day just waiting around for MIL to finish cooking, already, so we can eat.
Somehow I don't remember her having appetizers. I think it'd be better if there were appetizers. Maybe I'll try to throw some easy dips together for the cooler.
(Now I can stress out like the rest of you.)
I was at Publix Sunday to just grab a few items to get us through the week before we leave town (how that turned into $85, I don't know), and I walked by the filled-to-capacity frozen turkey bin. There were couples milling about, chatting about how many pounds they need, young moms calculating how long will it take to thaw the bird... it seemed like a pretty major event right there in the poultry aisle, and I just skipped right through to the cereals.
Sort-of a bummer.
I've hosted Thanksgiving at my house exactly once, I think, when AJ was 5 months old. We held his baptism that same weekend. I'm pretty sure I was stressed about the dinner; I may have even had an emotional outburst but I don't remember (no need to chime in and remind me if I did, family). But I LOVED getting out my pretty wedding china, finding a new set of placemats and napkins, and getting to make my Grandmother's famous dressing. When we go to my in-laws' I always think I want to bring some of that dressing -- maybe make it a week ahead, freeze it, and transport it down in a cooler -- but I've not done that yet. I don't really think far enough ahead.
The set-up of my in-laws' house makes it difficult to do what I consider the important part of the holiday -- socialize and work together. Houses that are good for those things have a "flow" through the kitchen. MIL's kitchen, through no fault of her own, has one way in/out. The kitchen's like a dead-end. You can't just easily mill about, chatting and drinking wine, you know? You also can't hang out on one end of the counter and help with cutting or peeling -- or at least I can't, because the kids tend to velcro onto my pants and the kitchen is also rather small. Someone is bound to get stepped on. Oh, I don't know. I really want to make it a happy holiday, and to be the helpful daughter-in-law, and to have all of that social, warm, working-together feeling. In the past, I have felt like we spend the day just waiting around for MIL to finish cooking, already, so we can eat.
Somehow I don't remember her having appetizers. I think it'd be better if there were appetizers. Maybe I'll try to throw some easy dips together for the cooler.
(Now I can stress out like the rest of you.)
Thursday, November 19
Baby log
KT is talk, talk, talking. She's 21 months and 4 days today. Here are some of her greatest hits.
'eah. She doesn't say "Yeah," just "'eah." Whereas her brother was famous for "I do." (AJ, are you hungry? --I dooooo. KT, are you hungry? ---eah.)
Bah-bye, later. All one word. --bah-bye, Keh-see, 'ater.
Come payyyyy.
owwy, Ah-ex. (sorry, Alex) Always with a leaned-in hug.
Namek. (napkin)
Cay-tiss Boh. (craisin bowl) This means she wants her Craisins in a bowl, or wants Craisins in general.
Teeeef. This kid loves to brush her teeth. Well, loves to chew on the toothbrush anyway, and fill the landfills with 17 Dixie cups a day.
Po-yee-un. (Napoleon) We're amazed that she articulates his whole name, sometimes all four syllables, so well.
Mee-mouse. If you don't know, I can't be friends with you any more. Just kidding -- Mickey!
eee-behsss. (Three bears) One of our favorite books.
ah-piddahs. (The Very Hungry Caterpillar) Our other favorite book! When she's looking for it, she calls out, Ah-piddahs? Ah-piddahs?
Shoooess. Anna. (Suzanna). Just this past weekend she met her Aunt Suzanna and I love how she says her name. Like two words.
There are many more, and she's making little sentences, too. I love this age. The explosion of language is adorable.
'eah. She doesn't say "Yeah," just "'eah." Whereas her brother was famous for "I do." (AJ, are you hungry? --I dooooo. KT, are you hungry? ---eah.)
Bah-bye, later. All one word. --bah-bye, Keh-see, 'ater.
Come payyyyy.
owwy, Ah-ex. (sorry, Alex) Always with a leaned-in hug.
Namek. (napkin)
Cay-tiss Boh. (craisin bowl) This means she wants her Craisins in a bowl, or wants Craisins in general.
Teeeef. This kid loves to brush her teeth. Well, loves to chew on the toothbrush anyway, and fill the landfills with 17 Dixie cups a day.
Po-yee-un. (Napoleon) We're amazed that she articulates his whole name, sometimes all four syllables, so well.
Mee-mouse. If you don't know, I can't be friends with you any more. Just kidding -- Mickey!
eee-behsss. (Three bears) One of our favorite books.
ah-piddahs. (The Very Hungry Caterpillar) Our other favorite book! When she's looking for it, she calls out, Ah-piddahs? Ah-piddahs?
Shoooess. Anna. (Suzanna). Just this past weekend she met her Aunt Suzanna and I love how she says her name. Like two words.
There are many more, and she's making little sentences, too. I love this age. The explosion of language is adorable.
Friday, November 13
7 Quick Takes
1. We've not been sleeping well.
2. On a happier note, we're going on a road trip this weekend. :) Well, it's a mostly happy note -- any road trip with two little guys is a hassle, to put it mildly. But we're going to my in-laws', and tomorrow MIL is going to take care of the kids while DH and I attend the Homecoming football game at his alma mater. I'm excited about the events. Not having attended a football school -- my college doesn't even have a team -- I don't really know what to expect. His school is not one of the BIG southern football schools, but still. We're playing a big rival, I'm going to meet a friend of his that I've heard about for YEARS but never seen in the flesh, and it's a full day of "Date-Night," with no cash-only bill at the end. Pretty awesome.
3. I think I mentioned we got iPhones 2 weeks ago. We're loving them. I downloaded a Grocery List app the other day and I'm itching to use it. Did you get that? I'm itching to make a grocery list and do the grocery shopping. Weird, no? It came in handy this morning when I used the last Equal packet, but didn't have time to write it down on the pad on the fridge (still transitioning from paper). After I got out the door and into the car, however, I quickly added it on the phone before I forgot. Anyone have a favorite App that I absolutely must get? Specifically a free one?
4. I tried Raspberry Zinger tea again this morning in reference to #1, and I just am NOT a tea person. Blech.
5. Okay, this is the epitome of DUMB: All this time, I've been operating under the assumption that my key-card for my office was NOT programmed with access to the workout room on the lower level of our building. I had heard you had to request it specifically, and never did. But today I was down on that level and thought, "Hmm...." Well, guess what? The door frakking OPENED, and I DO have access! There's all the typical equipment plus an ab ball and a TV. I am so damn excited (and forehead-smacky) about this I can't even tell you. The fire stairs thing hadn't been really calling my name lately so this will be a nice option. If I use it. No promises.
6. I am loving all of your NaBloPoMo posts. Thank you for entertaining me. I'm hopeful AT&T's 3G Network will accommodate me as we drive through Georgia tonight, so I can catch up with everyone. In-between seat-jumping and DVD-changing, of course.
7. By staying focused this morning, I've crossed 4 of the 5 main things off my list (work). Plus 2 blog posts. Here's to success. Happy weekend to everyone!
...more quick takes at Jen's...
Wednesday, November 11
(Untitled)
So, DH's doctor confirmed he has elevated blood pressure and I've ...turned to alcohol.
Do you think it has something to do with the kids?
YOU'D BE RIGHT.
...20-month-old girl (read: TERRIBLE TWOS) and a 5-year-old boy... what idiots thought this child-spacing arrangement would work out??
It's just the constant WHINING. Both of them. And yes, KT's been fighting a cold again, so I understand she feels yucky, and I understand she doesn't see us all day while we're at work, so when we're at home she wants to be with us -- I want to be with her too -- but for the love of JACK. Mama's hip is unavailable for sitting, sweetie. You are TOO BIG. (How did you get so big?) Can we please just hold hands? I know I shouldn't wish it away but...
And AJ. Sigh. I don't want to record it all here, because I want it to fade to a distant memory that I can't recall in 20 years when he asks me. I want to say, "Oh, honey, you were a handful... but all kids are. You outgrew it." It's about respecting adults and that's all I'll say.
This morning, as I was trying to swipe my face with Bare Minerals and wipe snot off KT's cheek for the forty-seventh time, and catch the weather report (guess what? Rain), and be understanding and patient but at the same time get AJ to please not squoosh his foot into his shoe while it is still tied, they are brand-new SHOES AND THEY'LL STRETCH OUT AND BE RUINED!!!.... Well, I don't think I got that mad, but thinking about it now I'm getting flustered again... I tried to look at it from 20 years out, knowing that it WILL fade to nothing in my mind, if I don't blog it. It will.
I hate --yes, Blogger, "strong and slash strong"-- the morning hustle, have I said that? I wish we could re-tool that process mightily.
Do you think it has something to do with the kids?
YOU'D BE RIGHT.
...20-month-old girl (read: TERRIBLE TWOS) and a 5-year-old boy... what idiots thought this child-spacing arrangement would work out??
It's just the constant WHINING. Both of them. And yes, KT's been fighting a cold again, so I understand she feels yucky, and I understand she doesn't see us all day while we're at work, so when we're at home she wants to be with us -- I want to be with her too -- but for the love of JACK. Mama's hip is unavailable for sitting, sweetie. You are TOO BIG. (How did you get so big?) Can we please just hold hands? I know I shouldn't wish it away but...
And AJ. Sigh. I don't want to record it all here, because I want it to fade to a distant memory that I can't recall in 20 years when he asks me. I want to say, "Oh, honey, you were a handful... but all kids are. You outgrew it." It's about respecting adults and that's all I'll say.
This morning, as I was trying to swipe my face with Bare Minerals and wipe snot off KT's cheek for the forty-seventh time, and catch the weather report (guess what? Rain), and be understanding and patient but at the same time get AJ to please not squoosh his foot into his shoe while it is still tied, they are brand-new SHOES AND THEY'LL STRETCH OUT AND BE RUINED!!!.... Well, I don't think I got that mad, but thinking about it now I'm getting flustered again... I tried to look at it from 20 years out, knowing that it WILL fade to nothing in my mind, if I don't blog it. It will.
I hate --yes, Blogger, "strong and slash strong"-- the morning hustle, have I said that? I wish we could re-tool that process mightily.
Thursday, November 5
I should apologize now.
(click to enlarge)
p.s. One other problem, I can't go back to edit, "Keyboard, ho!" to something less dorky.
p.s. One other problem, I can't go back to edit, "Keyboard, ho!" to something less dorky.
Tuesday, November 3
Quick-takes-ish: Kids do the darndest things!
Ha, ha, ho, ho. I say "darndest things" with a chuck on your chin and a knowing shrug. Can you tell how jovial and lighthearted I am about it?
Ahem.
We had a difficult weekend with AJ. (Understatement. He was sent to his room on Sunday and threatened with "One more outburst and you'll stay in your room the rest of the day, without dinner." He got himself together, but MAN.) And then, this morning, KT woke up an hour early -- whoops, Standard Time fallout! -- and whined slash screamed the entire morning. Poor thing. I get it, but... it gave me a headache.
* * * * * * * *
You know what thing makes me pretty happy? My new iPhone in its pretty red case. Heh, heh, heh, and here you thought I was all thinky and philosophical. Gonna "find my bliss" and "work on myself" and all. Actually, there's an app for that.
* * * * * * * *
I am working the Happiness Project, y'all. In fact, to properly engage with someone this week, I was brave and asked my aforementioned girl-crush, let's call her Ashley, to lunch. It's today! :) A day at work can't be THAT bad when you've got lunch to look forward to.
* * * * * * * *
I was so glad we avoided my neighbors on Halloween. Mrs. Neighbor, she of the Kids-Who-Do-No-Wrong, told me later that at every door, her kids shouted "Trick or treat, smell my feet..." etc... all the way to "We don't care! We'll pull down your underwear!!" She reports: "Everyone thought it was SO CUTE!" My (raised eyebrows) advice to her: No, they didn't. I may be overly conservative, but my Mama taught me that that song is for playtime ONLY, and GOOD MANNERS are generally the way to go, even on Halloween.
Ahem.
We had a difficult weekend with AJ. (Understatement. He was sent to his room on Sunday and threatened with "One more outburst and you'll stay in your room the rest of the day, without dinner." He got himself together, but MAN.) And then, this morning, KT woke up an hour early -- whoops, Standard Time fallout! -- and whined slash screamed the entire morning. Poor thing. I get it, but... it gave me a headache.
* * * * * * * *
You know what thing makes me pretty happy? My new iPhone in its pretty red case. Heh, heh, heh, and here you thought I was all thinky and philosophical. Gonna "find my bliss" and "work on myself" and all. Actually, there's an app for that.
* * * * * * * *
I am working the Happiness Project, y'all. In fact, to properly engage with someone this week, I was brave and asked my aforementioned girl-crush, let's call her Ashley, to lunch. It's today! :) A day at work can't be THAT bad when you've got lunch to look forward to.
* * * * * * * *
I was so glad we avoided my neighbors on Halloween. Mrs. Neighbor, she of the Kids-Who-Do-No-Wrong, told me later that at every door, her kids shouted "Trick or treat, smell my feet..." etc... all the way to "We don't care! We'll pull down your underwear!!" She reports: "Everyone thought it was SO CUTE!" My (raised eyebrows) advice to her: No, they didn't. I may be overly conservative, but my Mama taught me that that song is for playtime ONLY, and GOOD MANNERS are generally the way to go, even on Halloween.
Thursday, October 29
More about happy
For those who don't know, my job is in e-business and PR. I do a lot of writing -- some web pages and articles, mostly short press releases, magazine articles, intro paragraphs, headlines, and e-newsletters about our company and our products, and related things. Health/wellness is a frequent topic, and something I'm personally interested in (though not good about sticking to my own self!). I do some hiring of freelance writers, some photography selection, and list/database maintenance of our subscribers.
In theory, I should love my work. Sure there's that database thing, but there are always administrative things about a desk job. Mostly the job is writing, and clearly, I like to write (blog much?). I always did well in school with papers, and studied languages so I should have a good command of the English one. (Save for that last sentence.) However, the writing doesn't always come easily to me. It's not like, "Oooh, today I get to write that article for XX magazine. Yay!" No. I procrastinate and fret over it. (When I finally dig in, I'm fine.) One important note,I LOATHE doing interviews, which is pretty much required for writing well-informed news articles. I never had any intention of being a reporter, and my work does require a bit of that technique.
Tess's comment yesterday got me thinking. Of course I love some things about my particular job. My company is Good. I work close to home. They're flexible and family-friendly. It allows me my lifestyle. Plus, I get to work with photography/design. But somehow I still don't love the work I do. But I hear of people who own a business - like, say, a lovely little bakery. Or who work with animals. Or... I don't know, actors?... who really get a rush from the actual WORK they do.
I would like to have that, someday.
So it seems I should be on the lookout for a different job. Really take the plunge and FIND what it is that would make my heart sing. I even know how to explore this: I've read self-help books before. Volunteer. Take a class. Network in my off-time.
Oh the other hand: Why can't I just be happy with the status quo? Why should I have to RISK things -- security, pay level, etc. -- when I already have such an amazing life? Shouldn't I just be GRATEFUL for what I have and not focus on the small details that maybe aren't so great? I mean, life isn't guaranteed to be 100% wonderful. And work requires work, otherwise they wouldn't call it that.
I think I'm going around in circles. But parsing it out is helpful, so bear with me.
I did contemplate some things that could be personal "Resolutions," if I were going to try a Happiness Project.
It's time I really work on this, and I'm going to start with these little ideas. Everybody knows if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. ;)
In theory, I should love my work. Sure there's that database thing, but there are always administrative things about a desk job. Mostly the job is writing, and clearly, I like to write (blog much?). I always did well in school with papers, and studied languages so I should have a good command of the English one. (Save for that last sentence.) However, the writing doesn't always come easily to me. It's not like, "Oooh, today I get to write that article for XX magazine. Yay!" No. I procrastinate and fret over it. (When I finally dig in, I'm fine.) One important note,I LOATHE doing interviews, which is pretty much required for writing well-informed news articles. I never had any intention of being a reporter, and my work does require a bit of that technique.
Tess's comment yesterday got me thinking. Of course I love some things about my particular job. My company is Good. I work close to home. They're flexible and family-friendly. It allows me my lifestyle. Plus, I get to work with photography/design. But somehow I still don't love the work I do. But I hear of people who own a business - like, say, a lovely little bakery. Or who work with animals. Or... I don't know, actors?... who really get a rush from the actual WORK they do.
I would like to have that, someday.
So it seems I should be on the lookout for a different job. Really take the plunge and FIND what it is that would make my heart sing. I even know how to explore this: I've read self-help books before. Volunteer. Take a class. Network in my off-time.
Oh the other hand: Why can't I just be happy with the status quo? Why should I have to RISK things -- security, pay level, etc. -- when I already have such an amazing life? Shouldn't I just be GRATEFUL for what I have and not focus on the small details that maybe aren't so great? I mean, life isn't guaranteed to be 100% wonderful. And work requires work, otherwise they wouldn't call it that.
I think I'm going around in circles. But parsing it out is helpful, so bear with me.
I did contemplate some things that could be personal "Resolutions," if I were going to try a Happiness Project.
- Breathe deeply throughout the day. (being mindful, stopping the "I don't like this, I'm bored" monologue in my head for a few minutes to just Be... etc.)
- Listen to more music. Seriously, I need to fire up the iPod MUCH more often for a mood lifter.
- Dress well. (Dress better.) This might seem silly, but since my company is so great, we don't have to dress up in heels and hose all the time. But when I wear pants that don't fit well, or a plain t-shirt that I bought at Target 2 years ago... it does nothing for my mood. (Duh.) One reason I work is so I can afford things, and nice clothes need to be one of those things. I've dressed better the last couple of days (IMHO), and I HAVE felt better. Not to mention more professional. (Own it!)
- Connect with people each day. Including my husband. Sometimes we're just on auto-pilot, you know? We talk, but don't really engage. At work, too -- instead of a non-committal, "Hey, how are you?" I need to put some effort into it. ASK people about their families. Don't hole up in my cubicle, counting down 'til 4:30 pm.
It's time I really work on this, and I'm going to start with these little ideas. Everybody knows if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. ;)
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